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The Investor Sentiment - Equity and investments forum for Sri Lankans

The Lankan Investor Forum - A more respectable and reasonable place for members to discuss matters regarding the CSEThe Lankan Investor Forum - A more respectable and reasonable place for members to discuss matters regarding the CSE

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Latest topics

» CIFC Dumps to Expand Your Possibilities to Pass Your Exam
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyFri Jul 19, 2024 10:30 am by faithhharris

» CCS.N0000 ( Ceylon Cold Stores)
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyWed Mar 20, 2024 11:31 am by Hawk Eye

» Sri Lanka plans to allow tourists from August, no mandatory quarantine
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyWed Sep 13, 2023 12:16 pm by lauryfriese

» When Will It Be Safe To Invest In The Stock Market Again?
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyWed Apr 19, 2023 6:41 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Dividend Announcements
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyWed Apr 12, 2023 5:41 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» MAINTENANCE NOTICE / නඩත්තු දැනුම්දීම
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyThu Apr 06, 2023 3:18 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» ඩොලර් මිලියනයක මුදල් සම්මානයක් සහ “ෆීල්ඩ්ස් පදක්කම” පිළිගැනීම ප්‍රතික්ෂේප කළ ගණිතඥයා
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» SEYB.N0000 (Seylan Bank PLC)
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyThu Mar 30, 2023 9:25 am by yellow knife

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» The Korean Way !
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» In the Meantime Within Our Shores!
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» What is Known as Dementia?
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» SRI LANKA TELECOM PLC (SLTL.N0000)
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyMon Mar 20, 2023 5:18 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» THE LANKA HOSPITALS CORPORATION PLC (LHCL.N0000)
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» COMB.N0000 (Commercial Bank of Ceylon PLC)
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptySun Mar 19, 2023 4:11 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» REXP.N0000 (Richard Pieris Exports PLC)
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» RICH.N0000 (Richard Pieris and Company PLC)
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptySun Mar 19, 2023 3:53 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Do You Have Computer Vision Syndrome?
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» Cboe Volatility Index
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» AHPL.N0000
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» TJL.N0000 (Tee Jey Lanka PLC.)
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» CTBL.N0000 ( CEYLON TEA BROKERS PLC)
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» Bitcoin and Cryptocurrency
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Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyFri Mar 10, 2023 10:38 am by yellow knife

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Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyTue Jan 03, 2023 6:43 pm by ruwan326

» SAMP.N0000 (Sampath Bank PLC)
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» APLA.N0000 (ACL Plastics PLC)
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» AVOID FALLING INTO ALLURING WEEKEND FAMILY PACKAGES.
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» Banks, Finance & Insurance Sector Chart
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» VPEL.N0000 (Vallibel Power Erathna PLC)
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» DEADLY COCKTAIL OF ISLAND MENTALITY AND PARANOID PERSONALITY DISORDER MIX.
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» WATA - Watawala
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» KFP.N0000(Keels Food Products PLC)
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» Capital Trust Broker in difficulty?
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» IS PIRATING INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY A BOON OR BANE?
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyThu Oct 20, 2022 10:13 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» What Industry Would You Choose to Focus?
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyTue Oct 11, 2022 6:39 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Should I Stick Around, or Should I Follow Others' Lead?
Laughter the Best Medicine EmptyTue Oct 11, 2022 9:07 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

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+8
The Invisible
nihal123
spw19721
sashimaal
Ethical Trader
Backstage
Rana
කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
12 posters

    Laughter the Best Medicine

    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Posts : 9679
    Join date : 2014-02-23
    Age : 66
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Sat Mar 11, 2017 9:09 am

    A priest and a layman were seated next to each other on a flight.
    After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
    The layman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
    The flight attendant then asked the priest if he would like a drink.
    He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely attacked by a dozen sleazy women than let liquor touch my lips."
    The layman looked at the priest, then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too".
    "I didn't know we had a choice."  Embarassed
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Mon Mar 20, 2017 1:42 am

    Surprised  Surprised  Surprised  Surprised

    Laughter the Best Medicine Rantam10
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Thu Mar 23, 2017 10:49 am

    Laughter the Best Medicine Fp10
    avatar
    Rana
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by Rana Thu Mar 23, 2017 10:56 am

    lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!. nice one mr.kithsiri
    most peoples in western countries use back door as safe entrance
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා wrote:
    Laughter the Best Medicine Fp10
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by Backstage Fri Mar 24, 2017 12:43 pm

    Rana wrote: lol!  lol!  lol!  lol!  lol!  lol!. nice one mr.kithsiri
    most peoples in western countries  use back  door as  safe entrance
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා wrote:
    Laughter the Best Medicine Fp10


    Safe yes, but must be carefully coordinated, if exiting happens during entrance it can get real messy. Even a gust of wayward wind from exit can alter sentiment pretty fast leading to a flaccid situation jeopardizing the entire venture. Neutral
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Fri Mar 24, 2017 2:07 pm

    A rich Sheikh was admitted at Lilavati Hospital in Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arose.
    As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries.
    Finally a Malayalee named Rajappan Neyyattinkara, Kerala was located who had a similar type of blood.
    Rajappan willingly donated his blood for the Sheikh.
    After the surgery, the Sheikh sent Rajappan as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, Diamonds, Lapiz Lazuli Jewellery, and a Million Dinars.
    Once again the Sheikh had to go through a corrective surgery.
    His doctor telephoned Rajappan, who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
    After the second surgery, the Sheikh sent Rajappan a thank you card and a jar of Almond Halwa sweets.
    Rajappan was shocked to see that the Sheikh this time did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
    He phoned the Sheikh and said 'This time also I thought that you would give me Toyota Prado, Diamonds and Jewellery.... but you gave only a thank you card and a jar of Almond sweets.'
    To this the Sheikh replied: 'Mone' Rajappa...now I have a Malayalee's blood in my veins !
    Rolling Eyes
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty PLANS FOR EASTER

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Mon Mar 27, 2017 12:56 am

    Wife: What are your plans for Easter?

    Husband: Same as Jesus..

    Wife: What do you mean ??

    Husband: I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!

    Wife: "That's AWESOME, if you do that, I'll also do like Mary and show up pregnant untouched by my husband."

    Husband stayed home all Easter
    Very Happy
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Tue Mar 28, 2017 8:58 am

    How did a Chinese guy end up with a Tamil name
    I recently met a Chinese man in Toronto and got to know that his name was Kannaswami.
    I asked him, "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?"
    He said -"Many, many years ago when I first went to Canada, I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter.
    The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil refugee.
    The white lady at the counter looked at him and asked "What is your name?"
    He replied "Kannaswami".
    Then she looked at me and asked "What's your name?"
    I said, "Sem Ting".
    Very Happy
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Fri Mar 31, 2017 8:37 pm

    (Overheard at the funeral of a socialite--
    Tearful mourner- "Finally they are together "..
    Sobbing Family member- "What do you mean ....??"
    Tearful mourner- "Her Legs"
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Mon Apr 24, 2017 10:09 pm

    Ethical Trader
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by Ethical Trader Tue Apr 25, 2017 7:43 am

    Thanks Kith.
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Tue Apr 25, 2017 5:46 pm

    A Chinese guy goes into a Jewish-owned establishment to buy black bras, size 38.

    The Jewish store keeper, known for his skills as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers.

    Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them.
    The Chinese guy buys 25 pairs.

    He returns a few days later and this time orders fifty.

    The Jewish owner tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges him $60.00 each.

    The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the store's remaining stock of 50, and this time for $75.00 each.

    The Jewish owner is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black size 38 bras and asks the Chinese guy, "...please tell me - What do you do with all these black bras?"

    The Chinese guy answers: "I cut them in half and sell them as skull caps to you Jews for $200.00 each."

    Business is Business !
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    Post by sashimaal Tue Apr 25, 2017 8:21 pm

    https://www.facebook.com/er.fosla/videos/831785880330114/
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    Post by sashimaal Tue Apr 25, 2017 10:57 pm

    අපි නැගිටිනකන් බලන් ඉන්නෙ,
    බස් එකෙ හිටන් යන අය විතරයි...
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Wed Apr 26, 2017 10:35 am

    Laughter the Best Medicine P221

    Laughter the Best Medicine P125
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty The best HR joke in the world

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Sat May 06, 2017 6:27 pm

    There aren’t that many HR jokes around, but this one not only takes the biscuit, but raises a number of issues about attracting candidates!

    An HR manager was knocked down (tragically) by a bus and was killed. Her soul arrived at the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter welcomed her. “Before you get settled in” he said, “We have a little problem…you see, we’ve never had a HR manager make it this far before and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”

    “Oh, I see,” said the woman, “can’t you just let me in?”

    “Well, I’d like to,” said St Peter, “But I have higher orders. We’re instructed to let you have a day in hell and a day in heaven, and then you are to choose where you’d like to go for all eternity.”

    “Actually, I think I’d prefer heaven”, said the woman. “Sorry, we have rules…” at which St. Peter put the HR manager into the downward bound elevator.

    As the doors opened in Hell she stepped out onto a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club; around her were many friends, past fellow executives, all smartly dressed, happy, and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks, and they talked about old times.

    They played a perfect round of golf and afterwards went to the country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil (who was actually rather nice) and she had a wonderful night telling jokes and dancing.

    Before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everyone shook her hand and waved goodbye as she stepped into the elevator. The elevator went back up to heaven where St. Peter was waiting for her. “Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said.

    So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds, playing the harp and singing; which was almost as enjoyable as her day in Hell. At the day’s end St. Peter returned. “So,” he said, “You’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven”. “You must choose between the two.”

    The woman thought for a second and replied: “Well, heaven is certainly lovely, but I actually had a better time in hell. I choose Hell.”

    Accordingly, St. Peter took her to the elevator again and she went back down to hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags, picking up rubbish and putting it in old sacks. The Devil approached and put his arm around her.

    “I don’t understand,” stuttered the HR manager, “The other day I was here, and there was a golf course, and a country club. We ate lobster, and we danced and had a wonderful happy time. Now all there is, is just dirty wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”

    The Devil simply looked at her and smiled, “Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re staff.”
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty ජාතික කොඩියවත් රටේදීම මහගන්න බැරි රට ගැන වෙන මොන කතාද මල්ලී

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Mon May 08, 2017 9:04 am

    Laughter the Best Medicine Nf10
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Fri May 12, 2017 7:32 am

    A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into  Hooters Resto-Bar

    The place was hopping with music &  loud conversation -- and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."

    Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers!

    However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

    She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?'

    The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'

    'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.

    So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant, a little later the lights went momentarily out, again!

    After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stood up to give the nun a loud round of applause!

    She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'

    "Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender,'Would you like a drink ?"

    'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.

    'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out !,  now, how about that drink ? affraid
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Wed May 31, 2017 8:43 am

    Laughter the Best Medicine 18740610
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Wed Jun 07, 2017 12:53 am

    A small boy parks his bicycle near the Parliament house and walks on.

    A police constable stops him and asks: Why did you park your bicycle here?
    Don't you know about this road? Many MPs, sometimes CMs, even President and cabinet ministers and politicians pass from here.

    The boy replied innocently: Don't worry, I have locked my bicycle. bounce
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:04 pm

    Man In Bar Orders Kingfisher Beer...
    Lady Next To Him - What A Coincidence, Even I Have Ordered Kingfisher.
    Man - I'm Celebrating.
    Lady - Me too.
    Man - What A Coincidence. Why are you Celebrating?
    Lady - My Husband & I Have Tried 4 Years For A Baby... Today I'm Pregnant.
    Man - What A Coincidence! I Am A Farmer. For 4 Yrs My Hens couldn't lay any eggs. Today All are Laying Eggs !
    Lady - Wow! How Did That Happen?
    Man - I Used A Different Cock !
    Lady Smiled & Said, *WHAT A COINCIDENCE !* Very Happy
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Thu Jun 08, 2017 10:59 pm

    A lady was having an affair.
    One rainy day she was in bed with her BF when she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.
    'OMG - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window.
    BF: It's raining out there!'
    Lady: 'If my husb catches us, he'll kill us!.
    BF jumps out of the window!
    As he ran down the street in rain, he discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's marathon,
    He started running alongwith the others, 300 of them.
    After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.
    'Oh yes!' he replied. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'
    Another runner: 'Do you always run carrying clothes under your arm?'
    'Oh, yes' BF answered. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and go home!'
    3rd runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'
    'Nope..just when it's raining. Embarassed
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by spw19721 Fri Jun 09, 2017 1:35 pm

    What a coincidence ...thanks kith..
    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා Fri Jun 09, 2017 1:42 pm

    What a coincidence - I was a Marathon runner ! Embarassed
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    Laughter the Best Medicine Empty Re: Laughter the Best Medicine

    Post by spw19721 Fri Jun 09, 2017 9:11 pm

    කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා wrote:What a coincidence - I was a Marathon runner ! Embarassed


    ඉස්සරත් ග්‍රීස් යක්කු ඉදල තියෙනවා එහෙනම්.... What a Face

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