5 Minute Management Course - Really a good one

Dear ADMIN - I believe the members will get only the good thing out of this. If you think that this is not suitable to publish, before deleting please go through the all the lessons and after that you are free to take a decision.


Lesson
1:

A man is getting
into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,
when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly
wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs.

When she opens
the door, there stands Bob, the next-door
neighbor.

Before she says
a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel.'


After
thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her
$800 and leaves.


The woman
wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs.

When she gets to
the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was
that?'

'It was Bob the
next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband
says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?'


Moral of the
story:


If you share critical
information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.


Lesson
2:

A priest offered a
Nun a lift....

She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a
leg.

The priest
nearly had an accident.

After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her
leg.

The nun said,
'Father, remember Psalm
129?'

The priest
removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide
up her leg again.
The nun once again
said, 'Father, remember Psalm
129?'

The priest
apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is
weak.'

Arriving at the
convent, the nun sighed
heavily
and went on her
way.

On his arrival at
the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said,
'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
glory.'

Moral of the
story:

If you are not well
informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.


Lesson
3:

A sales rep, an
administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil
lamp.

They rub it and
a Genie comes out.
The Genie says,
'I'll give each of you just one
wish.'
'Me first! Me
first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas ,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the
world.'
Puff! She's
gone.

'Me next! Me
next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless
supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my
life.'

Puff! He's
gone.

'OK, you're up,'
the Genie says to the
manager..
The manager says, 'I
want those two back in the office
after
lunch.'

Moral of the
story:

Always let your boss
have the first say.

Lesson
4

An eagle was sitting
on a tree resting, doing
nothing.

A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?'
The eagle answered:
'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat
on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a
fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate
it.

Moral of the
story:

To be sitting and doing
nothing, you must be sitting very, very high
up.



Lesson
5

A turkey was
chatting with a bull.

'I would love to
be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the
energy.'
'Well, why don't you
nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're
packed with nutrients.'

The turkey
pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the
tree.

The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.

Finally after a
fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree.

He was promptly
spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the
tree.

Moral of the
story:

Bull Shit might get you
to the top, but it won't keep you
there...


Lesson
6

A little bird was
flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large
field.

While he was
lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on
him.

As the frozen
bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.

The dung was
actually thawing him out!

He lay there all
warm and happy, and soon began to sing for
joy.
A passing cat heard
the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound,
the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate
him.

Morals of the
story:


(1) Not everyone who
shits on you is your
enemy.

(2) Not everyone
who gets you out of shit is
your
friend.

(3) And when you're
in deep shit, it's best to
keep
your mouth
shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE
MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Good one. Thanks a lot.

Good one !
I think , most of us experienced the following  (specifically,  in half way 2011) , but still has not learned the lesson.

Moral of the
story:

Bull Shit might get you
to the top, but it won't keep you
there...

Thanks
stocks hunter

Good one mate. Keep it up.

Interesting one stock hunter thanks.

good one mate

I like this most ,

To be sitting and doing
nothing, you must be sitting very, very high
up

shane101 wrote:I like this most ,

To be sitting and doing
nothing, you must be sitting very, very high
up

Hmm exactly.